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Writer's pictureA. Lynn Fairrow

"The Journey to Rediscovering My True Self: A Journey to Finding Myself Outside of Just Being a Wife



When my kids were younger, my entire life revolved around them. I was the mom who did all the things — and I still do a lot. I was the wife who cooked dinner, and did almost all of the invisible labor. I was so busy taking care of everyone else that I forgot to take care of myself.


It was only when my kids started to get a little older that I started to realize how much I had neglected my own needs and interests. I had lost touch with the things that used to bring me joy and satisfaction. I had become so wrapped up in my role as a wife and mom that I had forgotten who I was outside of those roles.


At first, I was overwhelmed by the idea of reclaiming myself. It felt like such a huge task, and I wasn’t sure where to even begin. But then I realized that I didn’t have to do it all at once. I could start small and work my way up.


So I started by making a list of all the things I used to enjoy. I wrote down all the hobbies I used to have, the activities I used to participate in, and the places I used to visit. I also wrote down all the things I had always wanted to do but never had the chance to.


The next step was to start gradually incorporating those activities back into my life. I began by taking time out of my day to do things that I enjoyed, like listening books or going to the coffee shop. I also started scheduling time for myself, like getting a massage or going to the movies. (Going to the movies alone is a joy I wish I had found much earlier)


At first, I felt guilty for taking time away from my family to do things for myself. But I soon realized that taking care of myself was actually beneficial for everyone. When I had time for myself, I was more relaxed and present with my family. #selfcareisnotselffish


As I started to reconnect with the things that I loved, I also started to discover new things that I enjoyed. I took classes in things that I had always been interested in but never had the chance to explore, like yoga and becoming a bee farmer. I also started to explore new places — from the best new restaurants within a 2-hour drive to solo international travel.


I’m still on my journey to reclaim myself, and I’m sure I’ll discover even more about myself as I go. But I’m so glad that I made the decision to start. Reclaiming my identity outside of being a wife and mom has given me the opportunity to explore new interests, meet new people, and experience new things. It has also allowed me to be more present and engaged with my family.


I’m so grateful for the journey I’m on and the new things it has brought into my life. I’ve learned that it’s never too late to start taking care of yourself and exploring your interests. I’m excited to see what else I’ll discover as I continue on my journey to finding myself.


I encourage you to take the time to explore and reconnect with your passions and desires. It is truly a journey of self-discovery and growth.

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